Couples therapist and author Terry Real is having a real moment. Sometimes I can be a little bit of a hater (even though I’m generally a very positive person), but I am really pleased to see Real’s Relational Life Therapy gain greater traction culturally. His ideas have enriched my practice as a therapist, both with couples and individuals. Real’s greatest contribution is his acknowledgment of grandiosity’s effects on relationships. Therapists are great at helping people who struggle with shame, with feeling “less than” or not good enough. But few patients come to us complaining that they’re mistreating others and want to reform. In couples therapy, often these patients are dragged in and their partner complains they’re being mistreated, only to be met with denial or defensiveness. Relational Life Therapy acknowledges that many of us struggle with grandiosity and we shouldn’t be scared to name it so we can change it. Like every problem under the sun, it has a cause, and perhaps it’s not your fault but it is your responsibility.